Secure Base In the Office and Gym

As I've posted before, I'm a big fan of IMD Professor George Kohlrieser's advocacy of secure base leadership. Quick summary: as children we gain confidence to take risks (like learning to walk) because we have secure bases (like Mom) to pick us up if we fail (like falling down). We carry this pattern with us into our adult lives and Dr. Kohlrieser's contention is that leaders lead more effectively when they act as secure bases for others. In his book, Care to Dare, he argues that this supportive culture/environment is crucial for employees to have the confidence to stretch themselves and take risks - to play to win vs. playing not to lose.

This morning in the gym I was struck by an extremely apt illustration of this exact principle in action. Usually I work out without a spotter (a workout worst practice, by the way) because my main training partner is more than a thousand miles away in Florida. Also I'm never sure exactly how effective skinny Rice kids would be at spotting! This morning, however, there was a big Rice rugby player in the gym who looked like he could handle my weight so I asked him for a spot on bench press.

Anyone who knows my strength training philosophy knows that my metric of success is how much muscle fiber I am able to stimulate. When training without a spotter I am not able to stimulate as much muscle fiber as possible because I lift conservatively, not wanting to fail and drop the bar on my chest! With this spotter behind me I had the confidence to go all out this morning and I took my bench press routine to absolute, complete failure by working with more weight (strict form, of course) and doing more reps. When I finished a rep and was already tired, I still took the risk of doing another rep because I knew the spotter would save me if I failed. The result was that I was actually able to do several more reps! It was such a good workout that now I can barely move my arms.

Because of my spotter I was able to stretch myself and now my gains (with adequate recovery) will be much greater. This is exactly what secure base leadership is all about! I'm thrilled that Dr. Kohlrieser is bringing his top-ranked High Performance Leadership program (much of which centers on the secure base) to the US this year. I wonder how many of our country's private and public leaders playing not to lose instead of playing to win!

IMD HPL

I've just returned from a transformational week back at IMD for their top-ranked High Performance Leadership program! This time five years ago I was organizing my move to Lausanne, completing pre-work assignments, and preparing for a life changing experience. As I flew across the Atlantic last week, completing preparatory work for this IMD program, I couldn't help but feel a little déjà vu!

After four years of putting into practice the many things I learned during the IMD MBA, I thought it was time for a refresher. The very last session of our MBA was on grief and separation, taught by  George Kohlrieser, a business school professor with a very unique background. As a clinical psychologist and former police hostage negotiator, he has a very different perspective on leadership and communication. After that day I read his books (Check out Hostage at the Table and Care to Dare) but I had always hoped to work directly with him. He leads IMD's week-long High Performance Leadership program so I bit the bullet and signed up!

While I was excited to return to IMD, I was also somewhat anxious. Would I learn anything new? Would this short program meet the high expectations that had been set by my [perhaps somewhat idealized] memory of the MBA? Or would it be a waste of money and, worse, time? And if it were quite beneficial, would it be as painful as those first few weeks of our program? Our leadership stream was full of deep personal reflection and tough feedback from teammates - was I up for that again?

Indeed this program did feel a lot like the first weeks of the MBA. 54 execs from around the world started the course wearing our personas and engaging in superficial conversation. Several of the attendees reminded me a lot of my MBA classmates. Even some of the faces on IMD's side were the same, including two of our leadership coaches. There were fruit baskets outside our auditorium every day and, of course, theIMD restaurant was amazing as always!

There were many differences from the MBA program, though, as well. We were in the Nestle executive education building and there was something quite symbolic about spending the week on the other side of the street. Instead of raiding leftover food from the executive programs, we were the ones leaving those leftovers. And naturally mid-career executives whose companies have paid for one week training don't have the same deep commitment to learning as MBAs who have moved around the world and dedicated an entire year of their lives. Also there were no cases to prepare or homework at night. None of us were sleeping much but that had more to do with late nights at the bar than with group projects or writing papers. So perhaps this was a taste of what it would have been like to attend the Insead MBA!

The week was packed with putting fish on the table, giving and receiving candid feedback, learning in the auditorium and putting that learning into practice in our seven-person coaching groups. I was actually really impressed with how quickly the walls came down for everyone such that we could get down to open, honest work on our leadership skills.

It was a very emotionally charged week as well. George does a lot of work with grief (both personal and professional), which can severely impact leadership performance when bottled up or left unaddressed. Additionally we spent a lot of time analyzing past events and relationships (both good and bad) that shaped who we are as leaders today. I think it was a bit of a shock to most participants, who suddenly found themselves crying and sharing and hugging rather than learning "formulas" for efficient management.

For me it was an incredibly impactful week! I found myself naturally slipping into roles that I had assumed during the MBA: the "professor" trying to help others in my group through keen insights and rational models. My teammates managed to call me out on it such that I refocused those efforts back at myself and discovered some quite significant areas for development. I would call those discoveries more than "significant," actually; "profound" would be a better word. And, if I can follow through on them, hopefully "transformational" for my leadership.

I see now why High Performance Leadership consistently receives the highest ratings of IMD's open programs. It takes what IMD does best (deep, personal development of leadership) and focuses on it in a very personalized way for an entire, intense week. Unlike the MBA program, which balances the leadership stream with finance, accounting, marketing, etc. this was 100% leadership focused. If any of you are also looking for an opportunity for continued learning, I would strongly recommend it. In fact, the next session is in April in the US (San Francisco Bay area), so it would be more convenient travel-wise for my North American friends. Shout out if you'd like to learn more about my particular experience.

After this sabbatical, I feel more motivated and focused than ever to be the world changer that I hope and strive to be. In all areas of my life I aim for constant improvement, working smarter not harder, and this was a tremendous step in that direction. Working with IMD's professors, my team, and our leadership coach, I put together a concrete action plan to take my efforts to the next level. That plan is already in effect and my teammates are holding me accountable. So . . . game on!

MLK Day

Last week was an exceedingly productive one! Smart Office Energy Solutions hit a major milestone as we received our first checks/wire transfers from investors. Sure it is nice to have some money in the account but even more rewarding is what this signifies. At this incredibly early stage, investors really aren't investing in a business plan or a product; they're betting on me. All of our investors are people whom I respect and admire so their confidence in me feels great!

I tracked pretty well on my goals for last week, except that I did not make as much progress on our global business plan as I needed to and, once again, way way too many of my calories came from fat. On the brighter side, though, I hooked up with several friends, mentors, and former colleagues last week, which was wonderful.

The week ended on an outstanding note. My mother flew into town for some meetings with NASA. We then headed to Austin to spend the weekend with some friends of hers from grad school. I thought it would be fun and relaxing but my expectations were far, far exceeded.

For one thing, the house on Lake Travis was phenomenal--which was a good thing since the weather was pretty glum all weekend. Second, we ate very well all weekend, from Z Tejas Friday night to Oasis Sunday afternoon to great home cooking all the meals in between! Third, they had a Wii and a huge TV--enough said. Fourth, both Peyton Manning and Brett Favre won their playoff games decisively on that huge TV. Fifth, we had lots of fun playing cards, playing Scrabble, and just bumming around all weekend. Sixth, we went to visit Flat Creek Estate winery, which had a stellar muscat dessert wine, the Mistella.

Seventh, these friends are both psychology PhDs and they run a leadership development/executive coaching practice called The LDG. Naturally they were fascinated with my leadership development at IMD much as I was fascinated by their work with CEOs and boards of major corporations. We shared a great deal of common interest and the weekend was fraught with discussions and anecdotes about the only thing that really makes businesses succeed or fail: people. These two really know their stuff so it was no surprise that their phone was ringing off the hook all weekend with executives hoping to retain their services--very, very impressive.

Mom and I drove back to Houston last night very relaxed after having spent a great weekend with some wonderful people. Then Mom had an early flight this morning and it was back to focusing on my startup. The weekend left me with nearly boundless energy, though, and today already has been incredibly productive.

As today is Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, I did take some time to read up on MLK and reflect on what his story means to me. There are many things to take from his story, but a few particularly resounded with me, in no particular order.

1. The power of oration: the man was simply phenomenal at not only writing/improvising his speeches, but at delivering them. It is amazing how powerful oration can be--for good or ill--and I wonder how the changing landscape of media and technology will affect it. Certainly an individual voice can reach many more ears much more swiftly than in the past. However, that voice will also have to compete with a much greater cacophony of competing voices. It will be interesting to see. One thing is for certain, though, the early 60's were a grand time for oration, producing both MLK's "I Have a Dream" speech and JFK's "To the Moon" speech--both of which still give me chills.

2. The power of non-violent resistance: whatever happened to non-violent resistance anyway? It seems that now everyone resists with terrorism or overt military action, neither of which seem to be all that effective in achieving desired end results. I'm not sure why non-violent resistance seems to be so effective--perhaps it's because it forces everyone (not only those in opposition but also all the onlookers) to humanize the resisters, creating empathy. Violence does the opposite; according to George Kohlrieser, violence is only possible when human bonding has broken down. Therefore violent acts inherently objectify, rather than humanize, people and humans tend to reach agreements with other humans more than they reach agreements with objects.

3. You don't have to be perfect to make a huge difference: MLK was far from perfect and he was totally upfront about that. He was a notorious adulterer (Again a striking resemblance to JFK!), which is particularly imperfect in light of his being a Baptist minister! The FBI tried to discredit him by spreading reports of his transgressions but, at the end of the day, people forgave him and got behind his mission. We live in a time in which it is increasingly impossible to hide any aspect of yourself--perfect or imperfect--and it takes far less than the FBI to dig up your dirty laundry. No human is perfect, though, and I think the realization that celebrities and role models are not perfect has the potential to humanize them. If they put up a perfect persona and then are inevitably found out, the public turns against them, "AHA! You made be feel inadequate because you were so perfect but you totally are NOT!" Evidence: Tiger Woods. If instead they are upfront about it, the public may not approve per se, but they at least can empathize with the imperfection.

I put a lot of pressure on myself to be perfect. I also unfairly project that on others too. I'll never forget my PDI coach (IMD's personal development program included a year-long interaction with a Jungian analyst, called PDI.) telling me how she felt that I put tremendous performance pressure on her. I'm sure I do it to employees and even friends and family too. I try to be cognizant of that and ease off a bit. MLK is a good example to remind me that, imperfect as I am, I still have the power to make a positive impact. We all do.

A New Way

There's a feeling I get

When I look to the West

And my spirit is crying for leaving

-"Stairway to Heaven," Led Zeppelin

After months of very hard, conflicted consideration I submitted my resignation to Poken on July 13th. In this blog entry I will lay out the reasons behind my decision and present what comes next.

First, let me be clear: I love Poken. I believe in its success. I especially love the team, including the awesome, incredibly dedicated people we have on staff AND the amazing extended team of resellers, evangelists, and users around the world. I've never been part of something before that has elicited so much passion so quickly from so many. So why leave? There are many reasons, but they fall broadly into three categories:

1. As many of you know, my real desire post-IMD was to make a positive impact on the global energy challenge. I tried to tell myself that Poken would be a learning opportunity (and it has been!) that would better prepare me for a green career later on (and it has done!) but, at the end of the day, I'm just not buying my own rhetoric. Every movie I watch, every book I read, and most of the news articles I read remind me that energy presents THE challenge of this generation and I simply don't feel fulfilled professionally if I'm not contributing to the solution. Looking back through my IMD application essays and even my very first blog entry reminds me that developing the skills and tools to help address this challenge was my major motivation to come to IMD in the first place. 250 blog posts later, sitting in the Poken office, I began feeling that I had lost my way--time to get back on track.

2. I need to be closer to Katie. I love her, I need her, my life is more complete when I'm around her, and she deserves better than a partner who is halfway around the world. After 18 months of trying to make a commuter relationship work, I have a lot of airline frequent flier miles (Woohoo!) but that is little compensation for the heartache during the times apart. It was hard at IMD but we always had the light at the end of the tunnel of graduation. Now there is no light other than one that we make for ourselves. My prospects in the US are much more favorable than are hers in Europe, so I will return to the US.

3. There is another reason to return to the US as well: my country needs me. Oh wow, that looks even more arrogant on my screen than it sounded in my head. Let me explain. We spent a lot of time last year--especially in Jean-Pierre Lehmann's International Political Economy class--revealing the faults of the US and the mistakes my country has made. I learned a lot from the 44 nations represented in our auditorium about collective psychology and about attitudes toward the US--both positive and negative. Perhaps nowhere did I learn more, though, than in study room 007. I will never forget a heated debate with my Chinese groupmate, Gong Ping, regarding with whom lay the responsibility for changing the world's course on energy. Over time it sunk in that the world may never correct its path unless we gluttons who steered it wrongly in the first place lead by example. And so I believe that a better energy future has to begin with the US. Thank you, Chairman, for helping me see the way.

Over the past several years I spent a lot of time apologizing for the US--it was hard not to, given the administration. I moved to Europe. I even applied for dual citizenship in Italy. I'm ashamed to say it but I may have lost my national identity somewhat. But discussions in class that made my blood boil, the rhetoric of a new administration, and a lot of self reflection have jolted me back to my senses.

For all her faults, I love my country. I still get chills when I hear the Star-Spangled Banner. I still cry when I think of those who have given their lives in her service. I'm still a patriot. I've never taken the opportunity to serve my country as valiantly as have some of my noble friends and family in the forces, but now perhaps I can do my part. She needs devoted leaders to support a sea change in energy and I will answer the call.

Leaving something that is very successful and gaining momentum is hard to do so I spent a lot of time toiling with the rational pros and cons of my decision. At the end of the day, though, I made the decision for exactly one very irrational, very compelling reason: this new direction just feels right. Trusting my feelings is something I still have a hard time doing but I had a much harder time with it before IMD. Many thanks to all of my professors, classmates, and especially loved ones for helping me develop both the awareness of and trust in those feelings last year.

So what now? I will stay with Poken until the end of August to ensure a smooth transition of my responsibilities and not leave Poken hanging. I will remain in Lausanne until the end of September to tie up loose ends and begin work on identifying whatever comes next. I have an offer to be the CEO of a US green technology startup. It's a really good fit for my background (IT-based, B2B, based in Houston) so I may take it, but I am still vetting the opportunity and identifying others. I feel actually somewhat as I did at this point last year: with a universe of possibilities out there and not really knowing where to start. With the benefit of 8 months of work behind me, though, I am now much more focused on exactly what I want to be doing and where/how I can contribute the most.

Whatever I wind up doing, I will miss my classmates and Poken colleagues on this side of the Pond very dearly. I emailed this blog post out to my classmates yesterday and the tremendous outpouring of support I have received from them has been nothing short of moving. In the language of George Kohlrieser, my family, friends, and classmates are secure bases that give me the strength for tough decisions and I am truly blessed to have them in my life. This move will be a step toward living up to all the blessings I have been given. There is no certainty in this path and I don't know where it will lead. However, in a blog entry just over a year ago, upon my return from Kenya, I committed to give responsible leadership all I've got. Well, here it is. Here I am. Bring it on.