Successes and Failures

It has been a whirlwind couple of weeks. For some time I have been intensely focused on the CleanTech Open, a nation-wide contest of startups that are working on the challenges of energy, water, and buildings. We were honored to have been selected as semifinalists for the South Central Region back in May. Finally in late September we competed against the other regional semifinalists at the Clean Energy Venture Summit in Austin. Each company presented a 10-minute pitch and answered questions for 5 minutes from a panel of VC judges.

Long story short: Smart Office Energy Solutions placed third. Anyone who knows how competitive I am will realize that anything short of first place will come as a sore disappointment to me. Still, third place is enough (barely!) to advance to the national finals in San Jose, so I am pleased that we will have another shot. Between now and then we will be focused on addressing the areas of our business and our presentation that prevented us from taking home the gold. Hopefully we'll perform better on the national stage in November!

In a similar vein, last week I returned to Third Coast Training to do another metabolic profile. The good news: my resting metabolic rate has increased by more than 200 calories per day! I attribute this to moving from a calorie restrictive diet to one in which I'm eating plenty - just better foods. Also, my aerobic and anaerobic threshold heart rates have moved up, meaning that I am running faster and at higher intensities with lower levels of effort. This is the result of my running training and other anaerobic fitness conditioning.

The bad news: just as I did last time, I quit the running test too early. I felt like I was completely tapped out but, based on the level of lactate in my bloodstream, I probably could have kept going for another several minutes at greater speeds. This comes as a shock to someone who has typically regarded himself as having a high tolerance for pain. I've spent most of my life in short bursts of intensity, though, so now I need to work on sustaining such levels of discomfort for longer durations.

So in both my professional and personal life I am both achieving successes and enduring failures. Clearly my goal is to learn from the failures to increase the magnitude and frequency of the successes. This can be a somewhat frustrating experience, but it sure helps having "secure bases," people who love and support me no matter what, all around.

Hassinspiration

This weekend I had the honor of talking to my former high school football team before their Homecoming game. Three years ago I was asked to come in and do the same and it turned out to be the only game they won all season. As the mighty Thomas Jefferson High School for Science and Technology Colonials were winless so far this season, we all hoped that my talk this year would have the same effect.

There are so many things I know now that I wish I had known back then, but I only had a few minutes with them before the game so I just focused on the two themes that I thought would be most worthwhile for them. Following is a rough transcript of how the pre-game talk went (subject to my memory, which isn't getting any younger!):

"Gentlemen, I am truly honored to be back here in front of you today. As Coach said, I was TJ Class of 1997. I played football for four years at TJ, three years as a two-way starter on varsity, and one year as Captain. After TJ I studied computer science and electrical engineering at Rice University, where I played fullback for the Owls. Professionally I have spent my career starting up and leading clean technology companies. It has been 14 years since I sat where you're sitting right now and it is clear to me that, even though I got a lot out of TJ football during the four years I played, I've gotten so much more out of it in the 14 years since. I'm hoping that, by sharing some of that with you today, you'll be able to get even more out of your own TJ football experience.

So what do you get out of TJ football? Lifelong friendships, certainly. Matt and I (Note: my classmate and TJ quarterback, Matt Young, came too, reinforcing this point very well.) are at the age when everyone's getting married and it's amazing how, when a TJ football player gets married, there are invariably many other TJ football players there at the wedding--and often some standing up there beside the groom. We went to different colleges, took different jobs, and are now scattered around the globe . . . but there is a bond that is forged when you stand together on the field of battle, united against a common foe, and that bond is not easily broken. So look at the player on your left, look at the player on your right, and understand that, for better or for worse, you'll be stuck with each other for quite some time!

But you get so much more from TJ football than just relationships. You see, what happens up there on the football field is really a manifestation of that which happens to you in real life. Think about it: every day billions of people and organizations and businesses and teams set out to achieve some goal or overcome some obstacle or conquer some foe--just as you do on the football field. And, just as happens on the football field, it's not the team with the most resources that wins. It's not the business with the most capital or the athletes with the most physical prowess. No, it's the team that executes on the field of play when it counts. It's the team that demonstrates the greatest teamwork, leadership, discipline, and heart when it matters most. This is why startups are able to go up against Microsoft and win. This is why PhDs from schools you've never heard of are able to win the Nobel prize. It's not about what you have; it's about what you do.

Teamwork, leadership, discipline, heart . . . these aren't subjects you can learn in a classroom. These aren't traits you can read about in a book. These are intrinsic characteristics that you develop up there on the football field. So you think you're out there playing a game but you're really training yourself for the rest of your adult lives. I certainly didn't realize that when I was playing football here but it is so abundantly clear to me now.

The greatest lesson that I learned from this TJ football training ground is how to deal with failure. The world's greatest leaders are defined not by how they deal with success, rather how they respond to failure. This is because the path to success invariably winds its way through many failures first. Some people--most people--accept these and give up. Others learn from their failures, growing stronger, better prepared and even more motivated for success. These are the people who become truly great.

Sounds easy, right? But failure is hard. When you really set your heart on something and then fail to achieve it, it hurts--it hurts bad. I know. Lord knows we experienced plenty of failure in my TJ football days. And I know you guys have had your share of failure so far this season too, so I can imagine how you guys must be hurting right now--maybe a little frustrated, maybe a little downhearted.

A natural response to repeated failure is to stop caring. If you don't yearn so much for victory, it doesn't hurt so much when you don't achieve it. If that's how you feel right now about tonight's game against Marshall, I won't think any less of you. As I said, it is a very natural defense mechanism that saves a lot of people a lot of pain. But, if that's how you feel right now about tonight's game against Marshall, then don't you dare set foot on our football field. Decades of players before you have shed blood, sweat, and tears on that field--often against very long odds--so, if you're out there with anything less than 100% commitment to and belief in victory, it's a dishonor to yourself, to your team, and to everyone who's ever worn the uniform.

There is so much I'd like to share with you through the benefit of 14 years of 20/20 hindsight, but I just have these few minutes. I hope you will at least take away from this that what happens out there tonight will be more meaningful for the rest of your lives than you can possibly realize right now. The question is: are you going to let it be just some silly pastime? Or are you going to take it, own it, and ensure that is a source of strength and pride for you that pays dividends throughout your professional and personal lives?

I can't answer that question; only you can. I would give just about anything to be out there fighting alongside you tonight, but I can't. My time is passed; now it is your time. I will be cheering hard for you and sending you every ounce of strength and energy I have but, at the end of the night, it's you guys who have to get it done on the field.

Seniors, I'm especially talking to you. You have less than three hours of game time left in your TJ football careers. Three hours! That's a blink of the eye in your lives. Every play, every minute, every moment counts; you'll never get a second chance. So get out there tonight and get it done. Don't let up for even a second and leave it all on the field. Do it for TJ, do it for the fans, do it for your coaches. Hell, do it for me; I flew halfway across the country because I want to see you win! But most of all, do it for yourselves. You are Thomas Jefferson Colonial football players and you deserve victory. Go out there and take what's yours."

Wow, written out like that it seems really long but I don't remember it taking more than a few minutes. Regardless, the team fought a hard battle and won the game at the last moment. I don't know if my words "reached" anyone but I hope those young men found them beneficial.

The rest of the weekend was spent enjoying Fall weather and catching up with family and friends in Northern Virginia. Now I'm back in 90-degree Houston but still glowing from a wonderful weekend.

10k Race Report

Yesterday I ran my first real 10k, the HEB Bayou City Classic. Per my previous blog post, I've been loosely training for it the past few weeks. Thursday I loaded up on complex carbs, Friday I took it pretty easy, and Saturday morning I woke up early and ready to go. The weather forecast was beautiful, sunny with a high of 68F. However, at the 8AM start time, the temperature was still in the low 50s with significant wind chill.

Still, I knew how quickly my body would heat up so I raced shirtless. I also raced in my Vibram Five Fingers barefoot running "shoes." The scene at the start was pretty chaotic but I secured a place pretty close to the front. We were packed in like sardines, which was helpful in protecting against the wind. Before we started, I reviewed my race goals:

1. Total race time under 47:00

2. Negative split: second 5k faster than first 5k; specifically 23:50 and 23:10 respectively

3. Final km under 4:06

4. Final 400m under 1:15

5. Each km time for the first 9k within +/- 4 seconds of 4:46

The starting gun went off and almost 1,900 of us simultaneously launched forward. It took me four seconds to reach the starting line, after which the wide Louisiana St offered plenty of room for the pack to spread out. My GPS indicated that I was starting way too quickly--a sub-4:00/km pace--but I didn't trust it due to interference from all the tall buildings downtown. After a few minutes of consistent readings, though, and a heart rate higher than it should be--already 169--I realized that I must actually be running too quickly and I consciously reigned it in. I was frustrated to have started off poorly and I hoped it wouldn't cost me later on in the race.

As I ran past my office building, I hit the 1km marker. Rather, I hit two 1km markers. First my GPS told me I hit 1km at 4:16--30 seconds too early! Then, 0.05km later according to my GPS, I hit the 1km road marker along the route. This confused me and threw me off a bit. I was running a carefully planned race according to data from my GPS. If my GPS were feeding me garbage info, my decision-making would be garbage too. I decided to trust my GPS and hope that the distances would even out ahead somewhere. Regardless of the location of the "true" 1km marker, I was way ahead of pace and heart rate so I needed to slow down.

Slowing down wouldn't be a problem as I soon met my second big surprise of the race: a hill! Well, not much of a hill, but about 100m of 10% incline followed by about 100m of 10% decline as we took the ramp onto Memorial Parkway. Frankly, this scared me. I used to do hill training all the time for football but all I've done for the past few years are very flat runs. Plus, the hill training I did was always anaerobic sprinting; during this race I had a very specific heart rate zone I was targeting and hills could throw it off. I hadn't done any research on how best to run hills in a race and it hadn't occurred to me that there would be some topography in this race--shame on me for poor preparation! I decided to slow my pace down a bit on the inclines, trying to keep my heart rate constant, and stride it out a bit on the declines to make up for lost time. This seemed to work OK on this first hill. I finished the second km in 4:41 (Again, according to my GPS--there was a growing discrepancy between it and the physical markers) and my heart rate had dropped below 167.

All right, so now things were looking up! I decided to trust my GPS and my hill methodology and get down to work. The third km came and went in 4:39 with an average heart rate of 168; the fourth km was 4:46 with, again, 168. Gentle hills kept coming and going but I was in my rhythm now. I hit 5km at 23:16--or so I thought--and a 169 heart rate. I passed the 5km road marker at 23:27.

Let me just jump to the punch line here at the halfway point: my GPS was wrong. The course--including the mileage markers--had been painstakingly measured and certified. So here I was thinking I was 30 seconds under my goal pace whereas, in reality, I was only around 15 seconds under. This didn't affect this portion of the race, but it would affect my decision-making later.

The course turned around at Shepherd and the next several km breezed by.

6km: 4:43, 172 heart rate

7km: 4:41, 173 heart rate (During this km I passed Katie and some Rice friends going the other way, which was fun!)

8km: 4:51, 172 heart rate (One of the roadside bands on this stretch was playing "Louie, Louie," Rice's unofficial fight song.)

9km: 4:50, 173 heart rate

I intentionally took these last couple of km pretty conservatively as I thought I was 30 seconds under goal pace and I wanted to ensure that I had plenty of gas in the tank for my final 400m. I passed over the last "big" hill, the exit off of Memorial back into downtown Houston. As I hit what my GPS told me was 9.6km, I was confused because the finish was nowhere in sight. The time was 45;19, much earlier than the 45:45 at which I was planning on reaching the 400m-to-go point. Because I seemed still to have plenty of time, I proceeded cautiously, waiting until I turned the corner ahead to kick it. I didn't want to pull the trigger too early and die before the end.

As I turned the corner, I was less than excited to see 300m of incline ahead of me, then another turn. Where on earth was the finish line?? My goal had been to run the final 400m at a 3:08/km pace but I wasn't sure where the final 400m began and I was irrationally unnerved by the hill. I picked up the pace a little, dropping down to 4:00/km territory up the incline but didn't really kick it. By this point I wasn't really looking at my watch anymore; I was just trying to figure out where I was and whether it was too early to let loose.

About halfway up the hill I could hear music that sounded like finish line music and I realized that I might be running out of time to make my move. I looked down to my watch and saw that I was now at 26:28--I was definitely running out of time to make my move! I kicked down to a 3:00/km pace and began passing runners one-by-one. I rounded the last corner and was pleased to see that the finish line band was a Blues Brothers impersonation band. I can't remember what they were playing because I was too busy being mortified with the realization that the finish line was only 50m away--I had definitely waited too long to kick it!

I reached down and found another gear. I passed many runners en route to the finish, which I crossed at a full sprint. Many people were cheering on this bald, shirtless, barefoot, stocky sprinter, and that was exhilarating! I had a lot of gas left when I finished and I nearly ran over three runners who had stopped in the chutes to suck wind and recover.

The manner of my finish felt AWESOME, but . . . I finished in 47:01.7, barely missing my goal, but missing it all the same. I was crestfallen. Later analysis would show that I finally kicked it at 250m, rather than 400m, due to my confusion over the distance. I grabbed a beer and a banana and waited for Katie out where I now new the 400m mark to be to encourage her on for the last 1/4 mile. She finished three minutes under her goal time!

So let's revisit my race goals:

1. Total race time under 47:00 - FAIL: 47:02

2. Negative split: second 5k faster than first 5k; specifically 23:50 and 23:10 respectively - FAIL 23:27 and 23:35

3. Final km under 4:06 - FAIL: 4:21

4. Final 400m under 1:15 - FAIL: 1:33

5. Each km time for the first 9k within +/- 4 seconds of 4:46 - FAIL: my very first km was way off

Wow, 0/5! That's not very good! I embrace failure, though, if I can learn from it. What can we learn from these failures?

1. Trust the certified race course markers and use those as periodic beacons on which to "calibrate" the data I'm using to run my race.

2. Add hill training to my regimen as most races won't be as flat as Memorial Park.

3. Research the course in advance to anticipate any surprises--it's easier to decide how to deal with surprises when my heart rate's not in the 170s.

4. Play to WIN. I thought I had a cushy lead so I was overly conservative with my end game running--trying so hard not to run out of gas that I inadvertently finished with way too much gas in the tank. I wasn't playing to win; I was playing not to lose.

It strikes me that these lessons apply to the executive challenge just as much as they apply to the running challenge. The organizations I lead will always suffer from times of misinformation and surprise obstacles. I can address these best with some information assurance, some preparation, and a whole lotta playing-to-win culture development. I'll keep these lessons in mind both on the race track and in the board room.

FYI my final results are: #239 of 1,853 runners (87th percentile), #192 of 906 male runners (79th percentile), #21 of 129 men 30-34 (84th percentile). I passed three runners in my age group during the second half of the race and wasn't passed by any. My next race will be in April in Austin; bring it on!

Interview Failure

Today ended four days full of interview preparation and interviews themselves. On Tuesday and Thursday I had my two “big company” interviews with Shell and British Telecom respectively. They were both very structured, including cases, and really more “assessments” than interviews. Insomuch as I wasn’t invited for the next round by either company, I failed both assessments.

As someone who is very performance-oriented, I took both failures pretty hard. Although I recognize that it is the job of these recruiters to assess fit—not just worthiness—and hence it is better to know that the fit isn’t there earlier in the process rather than later, it is still hard not to feel . . . rejected. I had many peers with whom to commiserate as each company took just a few applicants to the next level.

This year has taught me a great deal about failure. My prior attitude was one of avoiding failure at all costs. I was obsessed with winning each and every battle I undertook—perhaps to the point of avoiding some battles that offered low likelihood of success. But there is much to learn from failure and these cases are no exception. Both Shell and BT have offered to share feedback from the interviews with us next week. This will help me understand why there wasn’t a fit so I can focus my career search better. Furthermore, I look forward to learning the strong and weak points of how I came across so I can build them into subsequent interviews with companies for which there is a better fit.

Speaking of which, I also talked with three product managers at Google this week and that position sounds like an excellent fit with both my skills and experience. The recruiting process is daunting, with up to 16 interview and some of them very technical, but then so is the process for attaining most positions worth having!

Simulation

Today we finished a three-day business simulation. Each study group represented a company bringing new products into a new, international market. In a turn-based, simulated universe, we competed against each other to position our products, make marketing decisions, optimize our supply chains, and work within the constraints of international regulatory uncertainty.

My team did not finish in the top 3. We made a key supply chain planning error in Q3 and another blunder in Q5. The key learning comes not from the errors we made but from the group dynamics and processes that allowed them to occur. As many of you know, I am extremely achievement-oriented so not winning doesn't sit well with me. However, this year has been a lesson in embracing failure for the associated opportunities to learn. It is better to learn these lessons in a simulated universe than in a real one, where profits, jobs, or even human lives might be on the line.

Financial Aid

An anonymous reader posted a comment recently asking how IMD's full-time MBAs afford the program, which isn't cheap. Tuition and fees come to ~$75,000 (increasing to $80,000 for next year's class). Living expenses are estimated at ~$30,000 on the year (Switzerland isn't cheap either.) and then, of course, is the fact that most of us aren't earning any income in the meantime. After discussions with students, discussions with financial aid office personnel, and some research on the Web (http://www.businessweek.com/bschools/rankings/full_time_mba_profiles/imd.html and http://www.imd.ch/mba/finance/), I am finally prepared to respond.

First, we have ~10 students who are sponsored by their previous employers. This means their tuition, fees, and--in many cases--expenses are paid for. Many of them are still participating in the career services activities and it will be interesting to see if they return to their sponsoring companies.

For the rest of us the first oppotunity for financing is through scholarships. IMD offers many (although American males aren't eligible for most of them) plus there are myriad others available from third parties. Another 20+ of our class is on scholarship.

I applied for IMD's Global Future Leaders scholarship (the only one for which I was eligible), thinking that it would be a great fit. After all, my entire purpose in going to IMD was to learn to be a better global leader. When I failed to win it, I was at first crestfallen (Was I not the future global leader I thought I was?) but I gradually dealt with it. I was coming to IMD to learn and this validated that I still had plenty to learn in exactly my area of interest. Furthermore, it reinforced a lesson I thought I had learned before: that I can't just slap something together and expect it to reflect my capabilities, passion, or even message. I wrote my application essay on the flight back from my interview, exhausted and uninspired but up against an immediate deadline. It was lackluster and it received the appraisal it deserved.

It wouldn't be the last time I had to cope with performance disappointment at IMD but I am learning (slowly but surely) that it is OK to fail; some of the best learning comes from failure. IMD allows us to fail (and, in fact, ensures that it will happen) in a relatively consequence-free environment. This way we are not only more prepared to succeed in the "real" world, we are also more prepared to turn our future failures into constructive learning.

With sponsorship and scholarships out of the way, the final two methods of financing are through debt and savings. Due to the very high average work experience (7 years) and highish average salary of entrants ($75,000), many students have adequate savings to self finance. Due to the tax advantages of taking out student loans, however, some of us choose to take out debt anyway; I did.

Average salaries upon graduation are in excess of $130,000 (plus signing bonus) so I would strongly discourage anyone from letting price be a barrier to application. Even considering foregone salary, it doesn't take long for the IMD MBA to pay for itself in absolute monetary terms. However, I would also discourage anyone from applying just to increase his/her earning potential. The real value of the IMD MBA is enhanced self awareness, teamwork, leadership, performance under pressure, and cultural understanding. While these happen to be highly valued in the market place, they can have a tremendous impact in your nonprofessional life as well. So don't come to IMD to earn more money; come to improve yourself and augment your ability to make the world a better place. That is more than worth the price!

Olga, I hope this answered your question. Please let me know if you have any more questions and thanks for reading!